Parent Number Two

I wrote this entry to appreciate the effort exerted by a parent of one of my students.

Last Monday, I was surprised because somebody paid me a visit in school. She introduced herself as the mother of one of my students. She wanted to coordinate with me about her son’s progress in school.

I was a little surprised of this visit because it was not easy to be the class adviser of an Open High School Program, a form of formal secondary education wherein students attend classes once a week. You see, this is a program of the Department of Education to reach

out those students who are unable to attend the regular class program due to physical impairment, financial problems, inaccessibility of home to school, work and other legitimate reasons. Also, there are some students who failed in some of their subjects and could juggle their time with their “regular subjects” with the ones they retake. Thus, some students do not have the same schedule with their classmates.

This gives me a little problem because; there are some students who are enrolled in subjects of different grade levels. In her son’s case, since most of his subjects are in Grade Nine, he has to attend every Wednesday and he still needs to attend some subjects in Grade Eight every Tuesday. To make the matter worse, when I checked his class schedule, he is not enrolled in my class (Araling Panlipunan, Grade Nine) and he still has to take this subject in summer or next year, provided that he would pass AP for Grade 8. Kakaibang adviser ‘to, hindi ko kilala ang estudyante!

First, I asked why her son is enrolled in this program and I found out that he lost his interest in schooling due to DOTA and friends. Next, I asked a little about their family background in order to find out the cause of the child’s behaviour. I found out that she and her husband have been separated for more than ten years and to support her children, she went abroad to work. Thus, her (youngest and only) son, was left under her daughter’s care (as they have wide age gap). She admitted that she had pampered her son; she bought all the toys that he wanted. When her son was still small, her daughters would reprimand him when he did something wrong. However, he is now sixteen years old; they could not reprimand him anymore. Having been influenced by his friends, he lost his interest in studying and thus started to cut classes. Some of his teachers had just given him “passing grades” last year but some of them failed him due to attendance problems. She said her son once told her that the reason that he cut classes was because of his teacher who was very strict in class. She also told me that her son is not good at English and Math; she said this is probably one of the reasons that he lost interest in schooling. This is another case of “problem child”. 

The parent had planned some courses of actions to help her son to change his behaviour:

1.       Move to a new house near the school. Her son disliked the idea; he would lose the “thrill”. Of what?

2.       Get a tutor for English and Math subjects.

3.       Constant monitoring. She and I would monitor her son and exchange text messages often.

In return, I gave my opinion about this matter: that we should first get her son’s interest in studying back on track. It’s because these suggestions would be futile if he really doesn’t have an interest.

The next day at around noon, she had brought his son along. This was my first time to meet him. I asked him some questions about himself, his ambition and the promises that he can fulfill for his mother. He promised not to cut classes anymore, to do his best in class, zero complaints from teachers and to study hard. I also advised him to prepare for his future because we will become a father someday, to which he said he wouldn't. Hence, I told him that someone as good-looking as he is should dream of becoming a father someday unlike the ugly ones (bad teacher). I wrote all these things on my Adviser’s Notebook and let him (and his mother) sign as an agreement. I even had someone take a picture of the three of us and “threatened” him that, since I already had his picture, it would be easier to track him, to which his mom agreed. I also told him that his mom and I will now become textmates to monitor his progress.

I appreciate this kind of parent because she had not waited for the adviser to contact her; she had the initiative to do the other thing. Unlike the others, she had the courage to admit her and her husband's mistakes. She IS aware of the implications of having a broken family. She knows what might happen if she had left her children, but was forced to do so due to financial constraints. As a mother, she wanted to cope with the times she had lost and she wanted to do everything for her child's sake. Moreover, unlike other parents, she was humble enough to tell me her son's behavioral problems especially in school. 

Done with my second talk.